Week 12 - Waiting & Watching

Thursday #13 – I kicked off this Thursday with a glance at my clock and this was pretty much how I spent the entire day.  Having received word last Monday that DTM would be making a brief trip home this week, I had struggled for a few days to keep it on the downlow as promised.  Eventually he ruined his own surprise by deciding he’d rather lock in some New Years Eve plans and inform the world of his return than end up stranded and alone to ring in twenty twelve.  This was a big relief as I knew there was a chance I’d stuff up and let something slip when out drinking with The Vegetarian, The Trophy Winner and DTM’s version of M-Dizzle on Xmas Eve.  Since he’d arrived in Melbourne on Wednesday night (while I was at Legally Blonde’s place with The Hot One, The Tradie, Greenpeace and others to celebrate Legs 11’s birthday) I’d been hanging out waiting for the call I was told would come at some stage while he was on the 12½ hour train trip to Sydney.

All day at work I found myself looking at the clock just waiting for it to be 8pm and to know he was officially back in town.  The Gym Junkie wasn’t helping matters with her frequent inquiries as to whether or not I had heard anything yet.  Having decided against a romantic rendezvous at central station amongst the homeless and the buskers, I suddenly realised my clock watching was super crazy as I wouldn’t even be seeing him at 8 so what exactly was I counting down to?  I was driving myself crazy so spent most of the afternoon/night making phonecalls and sending texts to anyone who would listen – Legs 11, The Hot One, The BH&G Fan, The Vegetarian…

Eventually DTM got in contact and we agreed to meet up on Friday.  I suddenly got all first date nervous so calmed myself down with a couple of glasses of wine.  The sem sav blanc was particularly feral (I clearly had not learnt from last Thursday) so I mixed it with some out of date orange juice to make it drinkable.  They came together in a beautiful Captain Planet kinda way – both useless and not very tasty on their own but suddenly when their powers combined they made for a pretty ok wine and OJ beverage.

After some facebook chats with DTM and my Clinic Gossip Girl it was time to head to bed and look forward to the fact that there may very well be ice cream and movies in my near future.

Week 11 - Wrapping & Wincing

Thursday #12 – ‘Twas an information-filled start to the day as I awoke to find every kind of symbol my phone knows flashing at me – texts, emails, facebook messages, whatsapp and even a chat on words with friends.  The initial feeling of immense popularity quickly wore off when I realised the text was a thank you for a b’day message I’d sent out a couple of days prior, the email was an automatically generated one from some shop wishing me a merry Christmas, the facebook message was part of a group chain and was not actually aimed at me, and the whatsapp was little more than a movie review.  Having decided that 1am the previous night would be the ideal time to start wrapping presents; I was a little slow getting out of bed but eventually did and set off to bravely take on the mall on the Thursday 3 days before Christmas.

On a mission and armed with a list of the exact things I wanted, I managed to finish up my Christmas shopping fairly quickly.  Quickly for that day, not in general – it was probably my 5^th or 6^th attempt at finishing my Christmas shopping.  Then it was off to meet The Marge for lunch and to buy my final present.  I marvelled at my own music collection as the ipod shuffled up an 80s mix to die for on the bus trip there.  Pat Benatar and Madonna had me wondering if my playlist could possibly get any better.  Once there it was kebab time – I still struggle to get my head around kebabs in the middle of the day completely sober but The Marge and her sister absolutely love them so lunchtime rendezvouses with these two often involve getting into the hommus and tabouli.

Stomachs full it was time to hit the nursery and pick a gift for Big Brother.  Walking into Flower Power took me back about 20 years to trips there with The Farge who loved nothing more than long drives and looking at plants…not a lot has changed in that regard.  I wish I was joking.  The stench of fertiliser is not something I have missed in the years since I was last at a nursery.  The Marge helped pick out a lovely palm that was splaying out all over the place and then it was off to the car to try and wrestle the thing into the backseat.  Good times, especially when trying to juggle an umbrella at the same time.

On the way back home I popped into my local liquorland for some champas and was stunned by a request for ID.  With the exception of a few months ago when M-Dizzle and I bought a case of UDLs and were loudly discussing schoolies; I’ve not been ID’d in a bottle shop for years.  Suspecting it may have been the headband I was rocking; when I returned home I took it off and tried to work out if that was what had been responsible for me suddenly looking so much younger.  It didn’t seem to make a difference to me but I am determined to work out why the man who has been serving me for a year, no longer thinks I look 18 –The Marge and her nutrimetics friends could make a fortune adding my secret to their “stop the clock” range of products…I just need to work out what it is that not only stopped the clock but turned it back 7 years.

Looking for some support from DTM (which now that I even type that sentence does seem a tad ridiculous) I filled him in and was told “yeah I can see that” as I whinged that I apparently didn’t look 18.  I suspect he was just trying to annoy me and I don’t want to think too much about why he would’ve been chatting up someone who he thought looked 17 all those months ago – it’s just silly, if I was 17 I wouldn’t have been able to BYO cider when we went to see The Smurfs…

At the recommendation of multiple people (ok maybe just 2) I sat down and watched Warrior.  I do love me some Joel Edgerton at the best of times so was more than happy to see him all buffed up and often shirtless for the 2½ hour movie.  I’ll admit the storyline was good and it was a good movie (which did at one point cause me to shed a tear or two) but I did spend a lot of the time not wanting to watch as my Joel (and various other men with muscles in places I didn’t know could have muscles) got punched in the head.  I questioned DTM on which part of this made him keen to do MMA and am told the training part appeals and not so much the getting punched/kicked in the head/stomach/back part.  I’m not entirely sure how you train for that without having to endure that but I don’t really want to think too much about it.  He tried to argue that mixed martial arts isn’t really that bad and that the movie had OBVIOUSLY dramatised it, but his case was shot to bits when I reminded him I had in fact seen UFC with him and the movie seemed fairly accurate – just with hotter fighters (which did possibly cause me to wince more than if they’d just been average looking).

Movie and skype over I finished up all my Christmas wrapping and sat down to enjoy* a glass of sav from last year’s box of wine from Mr H.  The sem sav blanc tasted suspiciously like a chard and one glass was more than enough.  Not an overly eventful Thursday but a relieving one as I finally finished my Christmas shopping, got all my presents under the tree and headed to bed relatively early to prepare for the next few days of craziness.

Week 10 - Lunching & Decorating

Thursday #11 – with both Wednesday and Thursday off work this week, I woke up decidedly confused about what day it was. Felt a little like Sunday and somehow also like Friday but definitely not like Thursday.  Damn mid-week weekends.  After this confusing start to the day it was time to spend half an hour checking my emails – not because I am suddenly Miss Popularity or haven’t checked my emails in a while, but because the bigpond gods have decided (in a decidedly unfestive manner) to slow my internet right down after I allegedly downloaded one too many TV shows this month.  Chuggalug.  It is a very painful and frustrating time, reminiscent of the late 90s when checking your emails involved a lengthy (and noisy) dial-up process which could be interrupted at any second if someone decided to call your home phone.  I am fairly confident our internet billing month ends in a day or two and am sincerely hoping this is true as I don’t think my patience will even last that long.

With that eventually out of the way it was off to The Rocks to meet up with The Wannabe Ranga for some lunch.  After some chicken paninis and cold beverages it was time to hit the shops.  Not being from Sydney herself, I impressed The Wannabe Ranga with my superior knowledge of the city (superior only to her, most of the time I have no idea where I’m going) as I was able to take her to all the venues she requested – luckily for me her requests were all fairly obvious landmarks.  We spent what felt like an eternity in Myer and discovered that the phrase “the customer is always right” is clearly not in their staff training manual.  Having started work in customer service 10 years ago, I am well aware of this little saying and often disagree with it completely; thinking a more accurate description would be “the customer is always a tightarse and trying to get something for nothing”.  Except on days like today where I AM the customer and I AM right. 

Somehow their own incompetency in sticking a barcode on something meant they wouldn’t be able to sell it to me – but not before sending us on a wild goose chase from register to register via a million confusing escalators.  We explained that there was an almost identical product (with just a couple of words different) with a barcode and a price on it but that was not good enough for the Christmas Grinches at Myer.  After confiscating my present I went back downstairs (after locating the escalators once more) and returned with my almost identical item to then watch the lady spend 5 minutes trying to use this to lookup the one I actually wanted to buy.  Rather than apologising for this ridiculous waste of my time, or perhaps thanking me for hand-delivering the product she could use to look it up (since she clearly was not going to trust me when I told her the price); she looked at me like I had somehow made her life more miserable.  The Wannabe Ranga and I were fuming over this poor customer service and she pointed out that people that rude should not be dealing with customers – “exactly” I agreed, “that’s why I stopped serving customers years ago”.

When I finally got home I had some dinner with The Marge and then it was tree decorating time.  The fake Christmas tree made its way into the lounge room on Sunday and has been looking decidedly bare all week.  We finally figured it was time to stick on some baubles, chuck on some beads, hook up some lights and throw a bit of tinsel in the mix (all while listening to Mariah Carey’s Christmas album of course) and voila – it feels a tiny bit more like Christmas.  I explained to DTM via skype later that night that The Marge is quite particular about her fake trees and selected this one based on it having “that authentic toilet brush look”.  He seemed confused (clearly not a fake tree expert) and had to be reassured that we did not use our Christmas tree throughout the year as a bathroom utensil.  I’m really not sure who came out of that conversation sounding crazier.

For what felt like a jam-packed Thursday, in hindsight it was fairly uneventful and full of awkward moments when I realised (and shared with The Wannabe Ranga) that this time a year ago I was hanging out with The Older Man.  We both cringed as we recalled the horrific line he had used and more disturbing, the fact that it had worked.  Perhaps I should be thankful, for as much as it makes me shudder; “I want to know what your lips taste like” has provided me with lots of laughs over the past year as I’ve found myself retelling the story of a very awkward night in our nation’s capital.

Week 9 - Working & Taste-testing

Thursday # 10 – much like children a quarter of my age; I started my day by excitedly opening up the Advent Calendar to see what treat awaited me.  The Marge is still super proud of her creative efforts which 2 years ago saw her create her own Advent Calendar when all the shops had sold out and I had specifically requested one.  Truth be told, I would’ve been content with the $2 variety which stocks chocolate so suspect looking it’s started to go a little white, but The Marge went above and beyond.  24 mini cardboard noodle boxes, lots of festive stickers (3D ones nonetheless!), numbers written in glittery pens and an assortment of lollies and chocs later and we have our very own Advent Calendar.  It often isn’t ready for use on December 1 but I’ve never objected to playing catch-up when it comes to chocolate.  This morning I opened the box to find a mini gingerbread man and 2 little chocolate praline balls – the day was shaping up to be another healthy Thursday, just like last week.

Then it was off to work where The Dieter’s return this week had certainly not gone unnoticed.  It’s not so much that he tells the same stories over and over again that gets on my nerves (though admittedly he does and it does) it’s that he insists on having the same conversation with every single person there.  When I got in and sat at my desk I was greeted with “hey H, is it summer or winter?” to which I politely laughed and agreed that it was a little hard to tell.  Less than 5 minutes later he was over chatting to last week’s birthday girl asking her what season it was.  My patience was wearing very thin when The Gym Junkie rocked up and was asked the same question.  We get it dude, it’s a little rainy and not as warm as usual but it’s obviously summer and your question was barely worth the laugh the first time around, it certainly isn’t getting any better on outing #3!!  Don’t even get me started on Tuesday’s story about finding 2008 grand final tickets in his backpack (which I also heard 3 times in 2 minutes). 

The work day improved when The BH&G Fan brought out her baked goods for us to sample.  Testing out her shortbread recipes pre-Christmas, we were more than happy to step up and assist in the tasting.  A big thumbs up from everyone, especially Mr Tai Chi – though after a decent slice of alcoholic fruit cake I’m not sure how valid his opinion is.  The Gym Junkie went back for seconds and we allowed it since she’d been to the gym at 6am and had done 2 classes before work.  Crazy lady.

After work I decided to hit up the mall in search of Christmas presents.  It’s possible I spent more time looking at clothes for myself than actually buying things for other people – it’s not my fault I am so easily distracted by pretty things.  90 minutes and 2 presents later I decided to give up and head home for a quiet dinner with The Marge.  After dinner it was time to dust off the laptop and get my social networking on.  An email to The Pen Pal and some facebook chats with DTM wrapped up a fairly uneventful but pleasant enough Thursday.

Week 8 - Wining & Dining

Thursday #9 – the day kicked off in the same way as the previous 3 this week, hitting snooze on my alarm multiple times before finally dragging myself out of bed and off to work.  Work this week had been better than usual with The Dieter having a week off and consequently our ears having a week off from hearing about his sons, his iphone, his T-box and his new rabbit food health kick.  Since we had a birthday in our midst, The Better Homes & Gardens Fan and I had joked about how disappointed The Dieter would be to miss out on sandwiches and cake.  We got the shock of our life when he turned up at morning tea time and told a less-than-thrilled birthday girl that he “wouldn’t miss it, this is family” and stayed for the 15 minute celebration.  We’re not sure she agreed as she was so determined to avoid an incoming kiss on the cheek she ended up with a kiss on the shoulder as she walked away.  The BH&G Fan and I were most amused as we stood there downing wraps; somehow the only 2 people left at work who don’t pretend to be vegetarian at birthdays – more chicken and bacon for us!  The work day went fairly quickly with multiple visits to the fridge for what seemed like a never-ending morning tea.  Couldn’t help noticing that this was the first birthday in a long time where there had been leftover food at the end of the day and The Dieter hadn’t been working...just sayin’...

After a quick visit from The Designer (who was dropping in clothes I had semi-drunkenly purchased on Sunday at her house-warming but love all the same – props to her for an excellent marketing ploy, provide free punch and a cask of vodka then ask if I want to try on your new designs...genius) it was time to head to the city and continue my day of eating.  Met up with The Wine Buff, Legs 11 and The Hot One (who insisted I call her this despite no evidence of it actually being accurate) and headed to Fratelli Fresh where we enjoyed a cheeky pre-dinner beverage while we waited for Legally Blonde to finish work.  A nice glass of sav and some mozzarella snacks and it wasn’t long before we found ourselves reminiscing about Franco’s mozzarella bar in Sorrento, our crush on The Boat Captain and our very favourite Sheffield Stunner.  The Hot One particularly enjoyed this since she hadn’t actually been part of Euro Trip ’08, but she shared our love of Sheffield Stunner all the same.

Legally Blonde finally finished work and joined us for some din dins and more vino.  Legs 11 and I particularly struggled with the menu and remain unsure about what language it was actually written in.  I personally chose my meal based on it being the only item on the menu which I understood every word of – lasagna.  The Hot One decided to interrogate our waiter with probing questions about where he was from, how long he’d been in Australia and whether or not he has a visa.  She claims to be unemployed but I’m starting to wonder if perhaps she’s been doing some undercover surveillance for ASIO.  Our French waiter assured us he did have a visa (albeit one that would be running out soon) and The Hot One offered up the rest of us as potential wives for The Waiter.  Legally Blonde spoke fondly of Anglet and The Hot One did her best to ignore it.  I used my best French to inform The Waiter I had lost my magic bag and The Wine Buff ordered an interesting ice-cream and whiskey dessert.  Legs 11 was placing stationery orders while The Waiter was getting jealous when he caught us talking to Waiter #2.

Talk turned to boys (as is fairly inevitable when 5 girls go out for dinner) and The Hot One summed up her type beautifully in eleven words “I like them big and I like them with brown hair” – luckily The Tradie fulfils this strict criteria.  Despite Legs 11 not thinking she had an obvious type; Legally Blonde, The Hot One and myself all used the very same actions to depict her dream man and it was again up to The always poetic Hot One to summarise: “she likes a man who can pick her up and throw her on a bed” – I doubt any of us can argue with that.  Sadly The Waiter did not join us for Banoffee Pie (I say us but I wasn’t going anywhere near those bananas) or the champagne he had promised.  Let down, it was time to say goodbye and head home.  The usually long bus trip went surprisingly quickly chatting with Legs 11 then it was time for a quick chat with DTM to wrap up a tops Thursday.  A LOT of food was consumed but also a lot of laughs were had and I am pleased to say my Thursdays are looking to be back on track.