So after a longer break than Legally Blonde appreciates, I’m
back. Since my doctor has ordered me off
work due to a little cold I figured I might as well bust out an update, after
all it is a Thursday and there’s only so much 30 Rock a girl can watch in 3 days.
April – I am left
to my own memory to guess what happened in April as apparently it was 30 days
of nothing worthy for facebook. I
vaguely recall Anzac Day and watching The Bass Player playing bass at The Argyle
before a classy dinner with DTM at Jackson’s on George – who knew they served
meals? Moving right along...*
May – a month of
fooling and being fooled by patients while becoming a film and television
critic and showing how out of touch I am with the music scene.
The month kicked off with some familiar names but not so
familiar faces and in what is potentially a breach of doctor/patient
confidentiality, I took to facebook to share my thoughts on this deceit.
“3 days in a row of
patients with famous names! Kate Ritchie, Michael Jackson & John Singleton
- I can't help feeling my days would've been more interesting if I'd seen the
real you rather than some name-sharing imposter”
Music was clearly on my mind and my mind was clearly still
in the 90s. I enjoyed some classic 1997
hits while shopping and discovered I wasn’t quite so up on the rap scene, which
was devastating as I’ve always prided myself on my sick rap skills. Truth be told I’m not even sure if the “rapper”
in question is a rapper. I don’t even
know if there’s a difference between rap and hip hop and if I’ve maybe picked
the wrong one. I should probably stop
while I’m vaguely ahead.
“Mmmbop playing in
David Jones - made my day!”
“Since when is
snoop dogg snoop lion?”
Just days after my
musical musings DTM took me out to the movies, just like old times…and I’ve not
let him live it down since. It’s been
almost a year since that fateful night and I'm still trying desperately to
erase the images of a cornrowed James Franco from my mind. I didn’t get it then, I don’t get it now and I
certainly didn’t agree with Franco’s article proclaiming “there will never be a
movie or a character that is more important for this age than Spring Breakers and its
protagonist Alien”. I guess maybe if I had
read the article before seeing the film (available here if you’re game) then I would’ve
known what to expect, or rather, what not to expect “You want a story? Fuck a
story. No one wants stories nowadays. “ My mistake for wanting a story I
guess.
“Spring Breakers -
you might just be the worst movie I've ever seen...and I've seen some baaaaaaad
movies!”
When I recovered
from that traumatic cinematic experience, I turned to TV for some singers with
sob stories and celebrity judges trying desperately to be the popular one…or
worse, the inspirational one.
“I think I'd enjoy
The Voice a lot more if it was more singing and less of the judges trying to
outdo each other in their inspirational monologues. And don't even get me
started on their overuse of the word "tone" - if you say it about
everyone it doesn't really make it that special does it now?”
The month wrapped up nicely with a deluded patient having
some misguided confidence in my skills.
“Just had a patient
say "you obviously really know your stuff" - not sure if that means
I'm a good optometrist or if I should audition for NIDA”
June –
there wasn’t a great deal on my mind this month and I feel like this status
needs no explanation, quite simply it is an important public service
announcement brought on by a painful public.
“Paediatric
optometry may just be the best method of birth control out there!”
So that wraps up
part 2 of my 2013 summary. I had
intended to write more than just 3 months worth in this update but Giuliana and Bill isn’t going to watch
itself, nor will those strawberry and cream lindt balls eat themselves. Until next time amigos.
*A last minute addition to this post - after a quick perusal of some photos on my phone from April,
I'm reminded that not only did I attend a wedding, have my hair and make up done for a photo shoot, and discover a rat eating my optometry equipment; I was also surprised to receive a completely random bunch of flowers from DTM, delivered to work for no apparent reason. As it's only ever happened once, you'd think I'd remember it!
