Thursday #35 – the day started with a bus trip into the city
with The BH&G Fan and was pretty much downhill from there. I got myself back to the eastern suburbs,
changed for clinic and headed into uni early for a group meeting with The A
Team. The Italian and I have been paired
up with The Quiet One and Short Skirt Short Jacket for more activities than we
would wish on anyone. We were stuck with
them in Melbourne and now we were stuck with them for a business assignment.
We very briefly went over our speeches for the next day’s
presentation – The Italian was yet to write hers, The Quiet One spoke so softly
we still don’t know what her section was on and Short Skirt Short Jacket drove
us mental with her stupid accent and weird shampoo analogies. All in all a good group meeting.
Meeting done it was time for clinic. With a certain number of skills to be
performed each rotation, I knew the pressure was on this clinic as I had 3
DFEs, 3 Goldmann IOPs and 3 gonios to perform – a challenge given the max
number of patients I could have was 2. When
I realised my supervisor was The Bitchiest Straight Guy We Know I was suddenly
terrified and convinced myself I was going to fail before I even got my patient,
totally psyching myself out. As one of
the supervisors for our research project, The Bitchiest Straight Guy We Know
had written comments on our literature review such as “wow, could you possibly
squeeze any more unreferenced statements into one sentence”, so I was a little
nervous about having him supervise me in clinic – especially given my
inconsistency with tears and As on the cards at any given time.
I was right to be nervous, somehow I managed to spend 2.5
hours with my patient and didn’t even dilate her; a massive achievement given
we’re meant to be able to finish a full dilated consult within 1.5 hours. I spoke to M-Dizzle before my debrief with my
supervisor and already the tears were starting to come on. She tried to calm me down but we both knew it
was not going to go well once The Bitchiest Straight Guy We Know came to tell
me what he thought. In an eery
premonition, I failed that patient. No shock
there. Once again I had a mini breakdown
and had to try and assure him that there was nothing else going on in my life I
just genuinely was losing the plot in clinic and there was nothing else wrong
that he needed to know about. It was
awkward for everyone involved and I think we were both relieved when The Greek
Jesus came to interrupt and The Bitchiest Straight Guy We Know had to leave.
When I got home, I wanted nothing more than to get stuck
into some wine or ciders then just go to bed and pretend the day had never
happened. Unfortunately for me, a
lifetime of procrastinating meant I had a 2000 word case report to write which
was due the next day. M-Dizzle was equally
unprepared and we both set ourselves up for a long night writing our
reports while also finishing off our lit review (affectionately nicknamed our
shit review) and preparing for the next day’s business presentations. I came downstairs a few times for a break and
was comforted to know I was doing better than M-Dizzle. I finally finished my case report, shit
review and speech at 4.30am and headed to bed, leaving M-Dizzle still typing
away on the couch. Little did I know I would
find her in the exact same position the next morning, having not been to bed at
all.
A rubbish Thursday from start to finish, I’m certainly glad
semester one is over and done with, but would be more comforted if I hadn’t
failed clinic and there wasn’t the possibility of me screwing up my final year
of uni. Oh well, it’s done now. It goes without saying next Thursday has to
be better than this one.
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