Well it felt like it was about time I wrote a post because
there are a few things on my mind at the moment and frankly I feel it’s better
out than in! Things keep cropping up in
the media which seem to eerily echo my life.
OK so “eerily” might be pushing it and referring to the free optical
magazine I cannot seem to unsubscribe from as “media” could be a slight stretch
but the fact remains I keep reading/viewing things and thinking “hang on, that’s
me”.
The first item that caught my attention was an article in Mivision about “the world’s funniest
optometrist”. Naturally I assumed it was
written about myself and wondered how they had possibly commissioned this story
and managed to keep me in the dark. I was
super impressed by their stealth research but was quickly disappointed when I
realised the pictures were not of me and the optometrist in question was some
Canadian lady. At least I think she was Canadian,
I was too annoyed to read the article properly.
I shared my concerns with The Italian and she agreed it was odd that
they could make such a claim without even having any sort of audition or
competition to determine whether there might be funnier optometrists. I knew she would agree as she has long held
the belief that she was “the funny one” in our optom crew but I think we all
know I was the funnier one. In classic delayed
M-Dizzle style, she also brought up the odd article about 2 weeks later and
again we questioned this woman’s credentials.
Apparently doing a bit of stand up makes you “the world’s funniest
[insert career which isn’t traditionally funny here]”. After his gigs in New York and here in
Sydney, I think DTM must be in the running to be the world’s funniest travel
agent!
It wasn’t long after this that I was sitting down to watch The Bachelor (necessary viewing to
ensure I would properly enjoy Rosie’s Review the following day) and realised
that The Slimy Real Estate Agent had stolen DTM’s moves. Yes, the first night we went out, and I
phrase it that way as I was repeatedly assured it was not a date, we found
ourselves at strike bowling. It was most
definitely not part of the plan (well not that I knew of) as I’d agreed to see
Transformers at IMAX after a quick drink.
You can imagine my surprise when we drank and drank and somehow missed
the movie and ended up bowling. Like Laurina,
this was not where I saw my date heading and, while equally surprised, I
handled it pretty well. Granted I wasn’t
wearing a cocktail dress without underwear as she was but still, I think strike
bowling got a bad rap as a date venue and we had a pretty alright night there,
from what I remember. Plus she should
consider herself lucky, I would’ve killed for a dirty street pie – it was weeks
before I ever got food on one of these not-a-date-dates and even then I have a
strong feeling it was probably Oporto. I
could go on and on about The Bachelor
but after almost spewing up my McHappy Day Big Mac when I watched the Woman’s
Day promo video, I think it’s for the best that I don’t dwell on that douche
and his 3rd choice.
Sticking with TV shows, The BH&G Fan recommended a
little while ago that I watch The Mindy
Project coz she’d gotten right into it and was sure I would like it. With DTM overseas and The Bachelor wrapped up for this year, I was in need of a new show
to watch and felt like this would be perfect.
I’m yet to tackle Breaking Bad
but like a few other shows on my To Watch List, that’s one I have to wait for
DTM to start so this seemed like the perfect option for my 4.5 weeks at home
alone. The BH&G Fan was right, I do
very much enjoy the show but unfortunately have managed to finish the first 2
seasons and am now all caught up and waiting for new episodes on a weekly basis
just like everyone else. Now I know this
seems like a pointless story (and at the same time like a bit of an ad for The Mindy Project) but I’m getting to
the point. The point is, Mindy is me, I
am totally Mindy. It’s hard to explain
as I appreciate that to the untrained eye I may not appear to have that much in
common with an Indian gynaecologist living in New York and dating like it’s
going out of fashion, but I am kind of a doctor (just ask the chick on the
phone from Medicare), I do share her love of celebrities and romantic comedies
and I am pretty damn hilarious. Yeah
there are things Mindy does that I do not condone (like eating food she dropped
on the street and going to an ex’s wedding) but in general we are one and the
same and I am thoroughly enjoying seeing myself in my own TV show. On a side note, last night I recommended the
show to M-Dizzle and told her I thought she’d like it. She fairly accurately surmised that it’s “about
a sassy black woman” and after clarifying Mindy’s ethnicity, she agreed it did
sound up her alley and I’m confident that she will also see the similarities between
myself and Mindy.
Moving onto sports and not so current affairs, as I was reading
about Sam Burgess and his broken cheekbone I couldn’t help but be reminded of
my own sporting injury and got a little worried about what permanent damage I
might have done. Sure it seems unlikely
that 12 years later I would discover some mental problems which had previously
gone unnoticed but this article was not speaking kindly about concussions and
playing on and frankly I was starting to panic.
I got so worried I took it to Wikipedia and starting googling
concussions and symptoms and consequences and before I knew it I’d pretty much
convinced myself that I could’ve gotten higher marks in year 12 and uni had I
not suffered such a devastating head trauma at 15. The next day, after a proper night’s sleep
(it’s amazing how much better I sleep without DTM there randomly waking me up
because he can’t sleep) I realised this was probably a little extreme and
accepted that my marks were less to do with my “concussion” and more to do with
my general laziness and apathy. That
said, given I suffered a massive headache all day, temporarily lost my vision (very
temporarily, I’m talking no more than 10 seconds), and was a bit confused and
disoriented (Legs 11 and Legally Blonde can vouch for my confusion on the
slopes that day) I’m starting to think that continuing to ski after smashing my
head on a rock in the morning was not my smartest move. I’m also starting to think maybe I shouldn’t
refer to this incident so light-heartedly – at the moment I tend to discuss it
in the same way I discuss my time at art school, with a laugh I’ll tell anyone
who’ll listen that I’ve had concussion and I’ve been to COFA but I think this
deserves a more serious tone. Yes I
think this is more on par with my horrific Cotton Eyed Joe dance injury or that
time Quit It sat on a wasp’s nest and we both got stung in the face. This is some serious shit and I intend to
play it up for years to come. I’m even
beginning to wonder if my floater might be related to my head injury...
So that pretty much wraps up a rather self-involved post
where I managed to find myself in every story I read or show I watched. Some might call that narcissistic but I’m
pretty sure it just makes me super relatable and kind of like the everywoman.
No comments:
Post a Comment